Naughty joke: A man is lying on the beach
To live a longer life, exercise and a healthy diet are the first things that come to mind. However, another vital ingredient for a long and happy existence is laughing.
I try to laugh as often as possible. Even hard days feel a little lighter when you share a laugh with your loved ones.
When I came across this cheeky story, I couldn’t help but smile. It’s quite short – but it gets the job done!
(And don’t forget to scroll down a bit for a bonus story that’s just as funny!)
A man is lying on the beach
A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch.
A woman passes by and remarks: “If you were a gentleman, you would lift your hat for a lady …”
He replies “If you were any sort of sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself!”
Dirty joke 2: Officer pulls over hot 19-year-old for speeding
One day while on patrol, a police officer pulled over a car for speeding. He went up to the car and asked the driver to roll down the window.
“What is a license?”
The first thing he noticed, besides the nice red sports car, was how hot the driver was! No older than 19, Blue eyes, blonde, big breasts, and long legs.
“I’ve pulled you over for speeding, Ma’am. Could I see your driver’s license?”
“What’s a license?” replied the blonde, instantly giving away the fact that she was as dumb as a stump.
“It’s usually in your wallet or purse,” replied the officer. After fumbling for a few minutes, the blonde managed to find it.
“Now may I see your registration?” asked the cop.
“Registration….. what’s that….?” asked the blonde.
“It’s usually in your glove compartment,” said the cop impatiently. After some more fumbling, she found the registration.
“I’ll be back in a minute.” said the cop and walked back to his car.
“Drop your pants”
The officer called dispatch to run a check on the woman’s license and registration.
After a few moments, the dispatcher said, “Ummm… is this woman driving a red sports car?”
“Yes.” replied the officer.
“Is she a drop-dead gorgeous blonde?” asked the dispatcher.
“Uh… yes.” replied the cop.
“Here’s what you do,” said the dispatcher. “Give her the stuff back, and drop your pants.”
“Ohh no…”
“What? I can’t do that. It’s… inappropriate.” exclaimed the cop.
“Trust me. Just do it.” insisted the dispatcher.
So the cop returns to the car, gives back the license and registration, then drops his pants, just as the dispatcher said.
The blonde looks down and sighs, “Ohh no… not another breathalyzer……”
Now hit the share button so your friends can read this hilarious story too!
Bonus funny story 73: year old man thinks God turns the light on in the bathroom at night
Everybody sees the world differently. And when you have a strong faith, you’re bound to interpret situations in a way that others wouldn’t.
But when you add a bit of sleepiness to the mix, you start seeing some very strange – and hilarious – results. That’s just what happened to the old reverend in this story – and the last line had me in stitches!
Eric, a 73 year old retired reverend, is at his yearly health check-up. All tests came back looking good, and the doctor sits down to discuss the results with him.
“Well, Eric, physiologically everything looks good. How are you doing emotionally and mentally? Are you feeling happy, and how’s your faith these days?
“God and I are on great terms. He knows that I see so poorly these days, so now whenever I go to the bathroom at night, then ‘poof’ – the light turns on! And when I’m done peeing, then ‘poof’ – the light turns off again!”
“Fantastic! That sounds marvelous,” says the doctor.
A couple of days later the doctor calls Eric’s wife:
“Good day, Anna. Eric’s vitals are looking good, and he seems to be doing well. The reason for my call is his relation to God. Is it really true that whenever he goes to empty his bladder at night, then ‘poof’ – the bathroom light turns on? And when he’s done, then ‘poof’ – the light turns off again?”
Anna sighs and replies, “That old fool. He’s started peeing in the fridge again…”
SHARE if you laughed – I’m sure a friend could use a smile right about now!
