92-Year-Old Man’s Hilarious Comeback to a Rude Teen Will Make Your Day

I recently took my 92-year-old dad to the mall to pick out some new shoes. It was one of those rare outings where I could spend a little quality time with him, and I could tell he was looking forward to it. My dad’s always had a strong independent streak, and though age has slowed him down, he’s still remarkably sharp. Getting him new shoes wasn’t just a necessity; it was an event.

We picked out a nice pair of sturdy shoes that he approved of—a process that took longer than expected as he inspected every aspect, from the soles to the laces. He wouldn’t settle for anything less than “sturdy enough for a hike but classy enough for church,” as he put it. Once we had his new shoes sorted, we decided to make a bit of a day out of it and headed over to the food court for some lunch.

We found a spot and ordered some sandwiches. While we waited, my dad leaned back in his chair, looking around. The mall was bustling with people of all ages, from toddlers clutching their parents’ hands to teenagers strutting around in their own worlds. I could tell my dad was observing them all, as he often does, soaking in the scene with a kind of calm curiosity.

As our food arrived, my dad’s attention drifted to a teenager sitting a few tables away. The kid had hair styled into wild spikes, each one dyed a different bright color—green, red, orange, blue—you name it. It was quite a sight. My dad, clearly intrigued, kept glancing over at him. It was hard to tell if he was amused or just fascinated, but every time the teenager caught him staring, my dad quickly looked away, only to sneak another glance a few moments later.

Eventually, the teenager couldn’t ignore it any longer. He turned and glared at my dad, eyebrows raised in irritation. Then, with a look of defiance, he called over to him, “What’s the matter, old man? Never done anything wild in your life?”

I felt a little tense, unsure of how my dad would react. He can be pretty straightforward, and the kid’s tone was a bit sharp. But knowing my dad’s sense of humor, I prepared myself for whatever clever reply he might come up with. He’s never been one to let a good moment pass him by, and I could see a gleam in his eye that meant he was about to say something memorable.

He leaned forward a bit, pretending to be deep in thought, then finally gave a small chuckle. “Oh, I did once,” he began, his voice carrying across the tables. “I got drunk and kissed a parrot.” He paused just long enough for everyone around us to hear, then added, “Now I’m just sitting here wondering if you’re my kid.”

The tables nearby went silent for a moment before breaking into laughter. The teenager’s tough-guy facade cracked, and he looked away, clearly caught off guard by my dad’s unexpected wit. My dad just leaned back in his chair, smiling to himself as though he’d won a little victory.

For the rest of our meal, Dad seemed especially lively, his eyes bright as he savored his sandwich. As we were getting ready to leave, he leaned over to me and whispered, “Sometimes you have to remind the young ones that we old folks still have a few tricks up our sleeves.”

It wasn’t just a funny comeback; it was my dad’s way of showing that age doesn’t mean giving up your spirit or sense of humor. Walking out of the mall that day, I realized just how much my dad still had to offer, in wisdom, wit, and in his ability to make even a simple shopping trip an adventure.