STORIES

A man and his wife are at a high school reunion.

The husband keeps staring at a gorgeous drunken lady swigging her gin at a nearby table, glass after glass.

His wife turns to him and asks, “Do you know her?”

“Yes,” sighs the husband. “She’s my ex-wife.”

He explains, “She took to drinking right after we divorced seven years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.”

“My God!” exclaims the wife,…

“Who would think a person could go on celebrating for that long?!”

Here are some more funny jokes for you.

The Language of Bees

Why did the bee enroll in a language class?

Because it wanted to learn the buzzwords and have more meaningful hive conversations!

Quantum Barbecue

So, Schrödinger, Heisenberg, and Einstein walk into a barbecue. Schrödinger brings a cat in a box, Heisenberg forgets the sausages’ momentum, and Einstein just keeps relativity raining on everyone’s parade.

Zen Garden Gnomes

Why did the Zen garden gnomes start a meditation group?

Because they wanted to find their inner gnome and achieve gnome-enlightenment in the most gnome-vasive way possible!

Pirate’s Cryptic Map

A pirate found a treasure map with a riddle: “Between the palm trees where the moon and sun meet, dig for riches.” So, he dug all day, got a blister, and realized it was just a palmistry lesson!

Time-Traveling Baker

Why did the time-traveling baker go back to the 18th century?

To knead some historical dough and bake some revolutionary buns!

Gardening Ghost

Why was the gardening ghost so successful?

Because it had the best “grave” growing tips and knew how to “spiritually” nurture the plants!

Alien’s Phone Upgrade

Why did the alien upgrade its communication device?

Because it wanted to explore the universe’s Wi-Fi hotspots and stay “intergalacti-connected”!

Chicken’s Stand-Up Comedy

Why did the chicken become a stand-up comedian?

Because it had a knack for cracking yolks and was always ready with a cluck-worthy punchline!

Martian Shopping Trip

Why did the Martian come to Earth for shopping?

Because they heard our malls had the latest in “interplanetary” fashion trends and were truly out-of-this-world!

Philosophical Squirrels

Why do squirrels ponder the meaning of life?

Because they’re nuts about deep thoughts and acorn-troversial discussions!

Related Articles

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Back to top button